Double Triolet – little bird

dVerse wants us to write a poem using the first person. “Perhaps you will leave your reader wondering if you are actually the “person” of if this is a fictional character. I’d like to see you bring an event that may or may not be true. I even challenge you to assume an alter ego and to write a poem in the first person of someone whose point of view and life experience is diametrically opposed to your own. In this way, this will become an exercise, not only in use of the first person to create an intimate portrait of the character, but also a means to stretch your story-telling imagination.”

I came across a triolet I ‘d written a few years ago with a stolen first line from Charles Causley.  The poem pleased me on re-reading and I wanted to expand it, so here’s the original with the new one, written as a pair in two different first persons.

I am the song that sings that little bird—
the one just there, the brown one, yellow wings;
the sweetest music I have ever heard.
I am the song that sings a little bird,
the notes so pure, yet trilling.  It’s absurd
how hard to quell the sadness when I sing
that lovely song that sings a little bird
to please me, that brown one with yellow wings.

I am the bird that sings that little song
that tells all other males to keep away.
You wonder what I mean, so come along.
I’ll show you how life is in this my song.
We have to show our rivals we are strong
Though we are soft as mush inside, we say
our love, like Mendelssohn ─ no words — in song.
So keep your distance, males. Shoo, stay away.

About https://vivinfrance.wordpress.com

All poetry, prose and pictures posted here, except where otherwise stated, is my own, and may only be used elsewhere with my expressed permission. Please don't be inhibited from correcting my bloopers and making suggestions: Most of what I post here is instant, ill-considered and off-the-cuff, in serious need of editing.
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31 Responses to Double Triolet – little bird

  1. This reminds me of
    the battle of the sexes
    so real.. so alive
    so dead
    as well..
    hmm.. at least
    that’s what i hear..
    never had a problem..
    as i don’t see gender..
    human iS aLL i see now..:)

    Like

  2. Your poem sings to me. There is a lulling, soothing quality in the form and your chosen words. I really enjoyed the different perspectives.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bryan Ens says:

    The idea of the song singing the bird is lovely. Beautiful triolets!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. If I knew anything about poetry I’d leave an intelligent comment but since I don’t, I will only say it was very sweet and I liked it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. colonialist says:

    I enjoyed this, and particularly like the no-nonsense turnaround!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Kathy Reed says:

    Yet another perspective on the prompt…I love the cheery tone and spring feel of this poem.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. lillian says:

    “…our love, like Mendelssohn ─ no words — in song..” Really enjoyed these — and especially these lines. I’m enjoying many dawns while in Bermuda for two months — and the thing I like most is the awakening of the birds….even more so than the awakening of the sun!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. may little birds continue to sing for us, to us and brighten our lives as do your words every single day!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Candy says:

    there is something so special about little birds and their songs….. and your poem 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Glenn Buttkus says:

    One forgets the staves of form when the piece is so well written, each so well suited to each other; fine job, interesting take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Just loved this, Viv. First of all, the form that lent itself so well to the message. And then the transition from the song singing the little bird to the bird singing the song. I have a terrible weakness for birds. So glad you expanded it and brought it today. There is something a bit mystical about it.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. How can we ever understand that the tweets and thrills we think are melodies really means “Shoo stay away”? I love triolets.

    Like

  13. I love the shift in the second stanza first line…the way you play off the line that you previously borrowed and I also enjoy the idea that the song is to please the listener. Great way to shift perspectives and also stay in first person. I love little birds and I find the serendipity of your title wonderful…yesterday afternoon I wrote a poem in my journal that I haven’t posted yet…it’s entitled, “Small Nervous Bird.” 🙂 Thank you, for your generous words around my poetry, Viv, you brighten my day!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. tialys says:

    Delightful!
    (Just giving you the heads up that the Gelato fabric is in again on Massdrop https://www.massdrop.com/buy/gelato-ombre-half-yard-fabric-bundle?
    sorry to put the link in the middle of comments about one of your lovely poems but I couldn’t see any contact details for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. whimsygizmo says:

    Goodness, you had me from this bit of brilliance, on:
    “I am the song that sings that little bird”

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Sanaa Rizvi says:

    Sigh… beautiful!! 🙂

    Like

  17. “We have to show our rivals we are strong
    Though we are soft as mush inside” Really lovely poem

    Liked by 1 person

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