Miz Quickly has given us a superb exercise in editing an old poem. I’ve printed her instructions to stick on my wall.
This was almost the first poem posted on my blog, in 2010, a mash-up from my Unfinished Poems file, including some lines written on a train, the start of an unrelated sestina, some more written on waking from a very vivid dream and a very corny attempt to be an old-fashioned poet instead of just old! I leave you to work out which is which! Much drivel was banished to the recycle bin, and these few lines are all that remains.
The Train to Cornwall
Alchemy turns green to gold in temperate zones.
The cold that follows bares the bones
of trees in austere dignity.
buds erupt to haze of green
dotted with palest primrose.
Folded fields and wooded combes
thin to crouching tortured trunks
as Cornwall calls me home.