Poetically bolshie

At Mind love Miserys menagerie,  we’re given two forms as a prompt:  the Shadorma (six lines of  3/5/3/3/7/5 syllables)   or to write a poem in Trochaic metre.
I didn’t set out to be bolshie:  I really tried to follow the instructions, but somehow it all went against the grain.

Okey Dokey That’s the way
to write in trochee.
But I can’t think what to write on
that will bounce like Hiawatha.

Casanova
was a lover –
he who didn’t know
when to stop.
Every beauty
was fair game
for seduction.

 
Shadorma

Syllable
counting is a bore –
it is not
easy to
get a rhythm going with
no way to hear stress.

About https://vivinfrance.wordpress.com

All poetry, prose and pictures posted here, except where otherwise stated, is my own, and may only be used elsewhere with my expressed permission. Please don't be inhibited from correcting my bloopers and making suggestions: Most of what I post here is instant, ill-considered and off-the-cuff, in serious need of editing.
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31 Responses to Poetically bolshie

  1. Misky says:

    I nearly spluttered tea when I read ” that will bounce like Hiawatha” … What a giggle.

    Like

  2. Tony Maude says:

    When syllable counting is the be-all and end-all of writing a piece, then I simply don’t bother. However, when care is taken to ensure that the line-endings use appropriate, strong words, and some attention is payed to rhythm, then the effects produced by syllable constraints can be pleasing.

    These poems are all great fun, Viv.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree hundred percent about the need for strong line-endings and attention to rhythm. I’m actually quite enjoying writing haiku and senryu at the moment. I’ve written 13-line sonnets and a sonnet in iambic octameter, so I’m no stranger to playing with form!

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  3. MarinaSofia says:

    You’re a scream! Very funny – and not at all bolshie.
    I use Rhymezone too – especially for when my kids have to write poetry for school (it ain’t poetry if it don’t rhyme, as far as they’re concerned). It does near-rhymes too, slant rhymes, not just perfect ones. Like you, I feel it is too easy to be jaunty and superficial when you have perfect rhymes all the time.

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  4. To write trochee is a so difficult I agree, I am a man of iambs, you rarely have to count just feel it, the syllable can work if you do the same form all the time like haiku. But I think syllables are far more exact than we tend to believe.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. claudia says:

    ha yes – syllable counting is a bore and a challenge as well… i need all my available fingers you know… smiles and casanova…hahah… a story in itself..smiles

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade) says:

    Ha ha, I enjoyed them all.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ugh, the syllable counting is what drive me mad… hahaha. oh geese, the few times I did do form, it was a complete mess

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Glenn Buttkus says:

    Doggerel indeed, & a stretching of our poetic horizons, so that we can regard ourselves as literate, informed, that we have to know the classical forms before we bastardize them. I always try to participate in the FFA/MTB challenges, & sometimes get the syllable count & rhyme scheme down, but always seem to screw up the meter, the feet; oh well, education can be fun, as long as we don’t let it dampen our enthusiasm for free verse.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Gay says:

    I love how you explore the thought of what words do, how poetry happens, what makes a poem poetic. These are thoughts a poet mulls continually. Well done to the break-out poetry prompt!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Brian Miller says:

    heh. i listen for the rhythm more than the syllable count…or even the measured meter…
    casanova must have had some pretty good tricks up his sleave you know…ha

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Grace says:

    I don’t mind counting syllables & I also use a rhyming dictionary, smiles ~

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Bastet says:

    It has been said that the only true trochaic poem in English is Hiawatha btw … it’s ok in small doses … as for shadorma or any of the haiku imitations … it’s content rather than meter that counts … it’s like comparing American coffee and espresso . .. to each his own. Your post was fun …

    Poetry:
    Throughout time and space
    Without rhyme
    Or meter
    Is a thoughtful exercise –
    Or maybe a game!

    Thanks for posting with BJ’s prompts ( and the cool rhyming link too!)

    Liked by 1 person

  13. julespaige says:

    Each piece and form has it’s place. I do like your Shadorma.
    I don’t mind counting syllables – though I know many who think that is also a chore.

    I am with you on the hearing the stress parts. When you look up word on the net you can hear the basic word. But if you add an ending that isn’t available. And the dictionary is labor intensive.

    I just plugged in help for stress points on words. But they didn’t have an extensive vocabulary.
    So… I sort of feel like I cheated a tad using so many duplicate words. But meter isn’t my thing.
    I am also not very successful with Limericks.

    Thanks to for the info sites. I’ll have to book mark them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t think of syllable counting as a chore – I just dislike the lumpy rhythms that crop up.

      Like

      • julespaige says:

        It too me a very long time to let go of syllable counting for haiku. I still like to do it though. But I am finally more comfortable not counting. Being unable to hear the stress points of word, my own rhythmic default(?) – I try an stay away from any of the classic metered poetry.

        While Hiawatha might be nice – even with the meter in the right place I think it is choppy. And like you suggest with rhyme added it can make matters a challenge for ones’ ears. At least for me.

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  14. J says:

    Very irreverent indeed! At least you tried though. Without the attempt there’s no growth. 🙂

    Like

  15. Misky says:

    I have difficulty enjoying a Shadorma, too.

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  16. It is hard for me. When I try to do it I feel it coming out all sing-songy.

    Like

  17. cecilia says:

    looks difficult.. and yes, hard to rhyme with Hiawatha, that will have me thinking out loud alll day! trying to find one.. c

    Liked by 1 person

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