OctPo day 17 Pain



Pain, a poor companion
puts us on the wrong foot
powerful discouragement
punctuates each moment
pestiferous pills shape
physical faculty
philosophy goes phut.

a Pleiades poem for OctPoWriMo day 17, also for dVerse Meeting the Bar
The Pleiades is a poem of seven-lines, each of six syllables,  where each line begins with the same letter as the one-word title.  It is supposed to include a reference to a celestial body, but I couldn’t work that in! 

I can’t say that this form grabs me (being a syllable-counting phobe) but faute de mieux…

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All poetry, prose and pictures posted here, except where otherwise stated, is my own, and may only be used elsewhere with my expressed permission. Please don't be inhibited from correcting my bloopers and making suggestions: Most of what I post here is instant, ill-considered and off-the-cuff, in serious need of editing.
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28 Responses to OctPo day 17 Pain

  1. Glenn Buttkus says:

    So many of us, myself included, have had to go steady with that bitch Patricia Pain for too many onerous years; & yet, there is still joy out there to be gently ferreted out, & of course there is poetry & the fellowship internationally through the dVerse portals.


  2. Everything goes phut when one has pain, to the point of thinking of nothing else. Well done on the prompt!


  3. Pain is a bad companion – not something to draw philosophy from..I liked the form a lot 🙂 restrictions are not as challenging as a white sheet of paper.


  4. You certainly left an imprint with your poem Viv. 🙂


  5. kaykuala says:

    Pain, a poor companion
    puts us on the wrong foot

    Pain certainly does that. It may cause irritations that puts one off tangent.! Good write Viv!



  6. You did well with the form, Viv and I hear you about pain, when “philosophy goes phut.” LOL.


  7. zoebyrd says:

    wow I gotta go look up this form… whats with the celestial body thing? You have my admiration… you did this well… made me smile as it went on… thats saying something if you consider your topic is pain!… thanks this was fun… Im off to look this up!


  8. zongrik says:

    i like this line best — pestiferous pills shape


  9. Oh yeah, you did it. And what a subject…one to which I can relate, especially at nighttime!


  10. This is an interesting form. You pulled it off well.


  11. On the wrong foot literally…pain…sigh…hope you’re feeling better soon.


  12. Kathy Reed says:

    Pain, emotional or physical or mental, is a universal dilemma and Pluto is a good example of the cold one feels when ill.


  13. Rod E. Kok says:

    First time I’ve ever read this form, and it is really cool. And I love the piece you penned as well!!


  14. Bastet says:

    You wrote a great pleiades … I’m so sorry though that the subject is so well known to you.


  15. wolfsrosebud says:

    cute last line… pain is the pits


  16. Sumana Roy says:

    how true!!…the last line is great…


  17. othermary says:

    Very true, and I love your final line!


  18. billgncs says:

    I have known that companion, and your words ring true


  19. Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade) says:

    Very deftly written and the final word is just perfect — but I’m sorry you know the subject so well.


  20. brian miller says:

    pain makes for hard living…especially when you have to learn to live with it daily….and wake back up to it daily…this time of year my knees hurt more from my accident, so i know a little pain but not chronic…


  21. Fida says:

    So true, thank you for writing this!


  22. Ron. says:

    Perfection. Even Plutonians would love it.
    As you noted, I wrote about pills yesterday, too.


  23. pain indeed is a poor companion.. liked your words.:)


  24. Misky says:

    You did very well with it, Viv. I hit the delete button on my attempt. 😊



  25. vandana says:

    Pain is one thing which we all have to undergo some or the other time and its a part of our life.

    Even I too find the syllable restriction in poetry a big hindrance but that is the challenge to bring out the best even in restrictions.Pleiades , not necessarily has to be on a heavenly body , it can be on any object, we just had added a little bit of extra spice in the prompt by asking to write on a heavenly body..


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