Words are inadequate to describe
my constant anxiety –
after years in and out of hospital –
fearing to feel that ouch
that means it’s happening again.
My stomach lurches
as pain pesters my throat,
surges down to settle in my armpit
when blood clogs the pump.
It needs no tests to tell me
that I’m on my way
to the Centre Hospitalier France/Etats Unis
or worse, the CHU at Caen
for days of tubes and monitors,
undignified gowns, and tasteless meals
sans sel of fluff and jelly,
with noisy nights of worry.
Today’s words from Brenda’s Sunday Whirl were too close to home. I used them all but I had to translate that strange word Jello into English!
Vivinfrance's Blog 
There is always a lot of anxiety associated with hospitals, Viv. You convey it well here.
Pamela ox
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An uncomfortable yet interesting read. Like you I had to change jello to jelly and center to centre!
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So happy to read that this is the past! It was hard getting to your poem … but well worth the efforts!
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thanks Bastet, for persevering – I don’t k now what I did wrong with the links.
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It sometimes happens … how well I know it! Have a great day Vivi.
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until I saw the hospital (last word) I thought of me sitting an exam coz that’s what it feels like ;-))
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True biting painful -may the lord save all from anxiety and hospital experiences-vivid account
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Succinct and so telling in so few words, nicely done Viv…very.
http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2014/09/the-anxiety-of-indefinite-pain.html
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The older I get the more adamant I am about not going there. It just isn’t a healthy place.
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/
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I will be thinking of you hoping that all goes well and that you get better quickly 🙂
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I got such a fright…thought it was you…what a relief when I realised my mistake.
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It is me, with monotonous regularity, but I’m OK just now..
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Keep it that way!
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Your anxiety comes through loud and clear, Viv!
One More Whirl with Basho
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I don’t like them, don’t want to go, on one hand they probably do the best they can….the woman who mops, ‘you missed a spot.’ The nurses….hand me the soap so I can wash this patient. Hurry, hurry, no time to waste….to be kind, to talk to the family, let alone the patient. Who is normal, who is not. If they can’t get well, ‘off with their heads,’ ….take them to the county. Wash your hands, who is next.
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Somehow the set of words appear restrictive initially but they turn out very well. Wonderful write Viv!
Hank
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I understand not wanting fuss, especially with people scattered around the world, but…Take care, okay?
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Oh, and Jello is an “instant” gelatin desert. Very bright colors and notoriously served in hospitals. Add canned fruit salad, and you have 1960s America.
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They don’t eat jelly (Jello) at all in France. Canned fruit salad is a regular hospital dessert, but I’ve not had it anywhere else.
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It is so anxiety provoking isn’t it…mind you French hospitals are far better than UK ones…so I hope that helps things go better too
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Oh they are, a zillion times. But my last three times were particularly traumatic, and although the food has been much better than it is since they got rid of the excellent hospital kitchen and contracted out the catering to an outfit the other side of town. Also, their idea of salt-free is to take out the salt and not replace it with anything flavoursome!
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Mmmm….not an appealing thing, really. Not a fan of hospitals, despite their good works.
(PS – your link from the Wordle site doesn’t work)
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It’s a brand name, like Marmite. Or Tabasco. Or Flip-Flops. 😉 however ….all that aside, I worry endlessly about you whenever I hear that you’ve taken poorly. Stay well, my friend.
>
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Fret ye not: the poem was a what if (fingers tightly crossed). Last time, I didn’t tell anyone, as I couldn’t face the kerfuffle, and it got better all by itself.
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:). Hope your Sunday is lovely, Viv.
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I don’t think many of us will be pleased with the words but it is interesting to see how we conquer our phobia. You link does not connect with piece of writing as I had to search for it!
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Oops, sorry. I’ll try and correct it.
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I do hope you feel better soon
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