Rubáyát of lost love

Hopelessness attempts to drive me under,
despair to take me down, break me asunder
but loss of love can never quite defeat
or drown, or mercilessly leave to flounder

for I am not yet ready to retreat
or cede to your demands  nor yet entreat
your mercy, plead with you for one more chance
pander to your ego, giant conceit.

This feisty lady’s finished with romance
You have already led her quite a dance,
offended her, disgusted her with love.
She will no longer give a second glance.

Tony Maude at dVerse poets’ pub has given us the tools us to write a Rubayiat.
 I struggled mightily, and came up with an approximation of the form.  I failed to use the 4th lines of each quatrain to summarize the other three.


All poetry, prose and pictures posted here, except where otherwise stated, is my own, and may only be used elsewhere with my expressed permission. Please don't be inhibited from correcting my bloopers and making suggestions: Most of what I post here is instant, ill-considered and off-the-cuff, in serious need of editing.
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15 Responses to Rubáyát of lost love

  1. Jim says:

    🙂 I had to drop down to read this one today, Viv. You are back as sassy as ever!
    And I loved the feisty lady bit. I’ve known several, they can be fun to be with.


  2. Full of wry humor and wit. Well written – the flow is continuous, the message —- Sublime! Love your writing!


  3. colonialist says:

    Very good.
    The Moving Finger – can be very exciting …


  4. Sumana Roy says:

    the lady is strong and witty…seems none’s worthy of her constancy…


  5. Sharon Rose says:

    Excellent Rhymes! Love it. This sings.
    I tell my daughter the same thing. Wish I were as strong as I have raised her.


  6. billgncs says:

    as I tell my daughters, men are like street cars, miss one, catch the next 🙂


  7. Bryan Ens says:

    Oh, I hope she doesn’t give up on romance entirely… Hopefully she just finds a better guy!


  8. Wow! I applaud you, Viv…you’ve breathed a creative force into this form and brought it to life with passion…I love the immovable decisiveness of this poem.


  9. love the sense strength and boldness in here… and not everyone deserves a 2nd chance..


  10. Mary says:

    I say good for the lady in this poem. She keeps her feistiness…..and lets him go without a second glance!!


  11. wolfsrosebud says:

    sparky few lines here… seems the lost love thing is going around


  12. The form lend itself so well tho a melancholy.. the repeated rhymes like a hammer on anvil.. much like sorrow itself can feel like.. therefore the progression towards a hope to go forward is so great…


  13. brian miller says:

    nice…i like the strength in your voice in that last stanza…in the opening you set the tension, the broken sadness it makes for a nice turn by the end, like a rising phoenix


  14. claudia says:

    ugh…lost love is painful and there are different ways to cope with it… though as long as there’s still a hopeful spirit there can be a new path, new chance…


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