Margo Roby has suggested we write a blazon poem and you will find the recipe at her blog.
I found that it was supposed to be about a woman’s body: this one isn’t. I don’t think my poem is technically a blazon – more of a riddle – but what the heck.
Lower level miners work in sprawling tunnels
…….out of sight – a solid underpinning
emerges, surrounded by a mulch of old clothing,
…….an expansive up-thrust of strength
swarming with life above and below the surface –
…….vital connective tissue
prepares to undertake some mammoth task,
…….to serve mankind.
Side-roads, broad at first, wave at the world,
…….narrowing as they climb the central artery.
A sweet river defies gravity, feeds the extremities,
……from.core to pinnacle.
Many garments, hard or feathery or leathery, cover him,
…….hide inhabitants from view.
The whole, a massive undertaking,
…….endures.
I think this is brilliant, Viv. I picture your image of miners and am able to conjure up the anatomy and physiology of the body in it. So much that goes on withing us that we don’t see or even think of until there’s a problem.
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But I’ve failed! You know how bad I am at metaphor: my subject was an oak tree, from the roots upwards!
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The reason you might feel this is blazon-ish is that it doesn’t sound like Breton, but it shouldn’t. It should sound like ViV [well, ViV’s speaker]. You have a blazon. It does what I think a modern blazon should, detail the attributes of a given subject. I love that you chose a mine. Beyond the people in it, you make it sound like a living creature.
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My riddle fooled you! It is an oak tree!
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Fooled me too, I’m afraid. I thought mines also. But, now that I know it is a tree it does makes perfect sense.
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I’ll be damned. So it is. Makes it even more fun.
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I love how this feels like a busy-busy hive, and all of the intricacies of their work hidden below the surface. Very visual description…I enjoyed this, Viv!
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It is lovely Viv. I am now getting your emails and posts since I have changed my address following being hacked and having my details registered as spam. Sigh.
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Being hacked must be the ultimate horror story. Glad you’re back.
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This is intriguing: Margo thought it was a mine, you liken it to a hive of bees, and all the time it was meant to be a tree. Thiis tells me something about my failings as a poet!
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Emailed you x
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Thanks – every point a gem. I hope I’ve fixed it.
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