A Major Key

The Elephant in the Room
a conversational poem for the Poets’ Pub 

 There’s an elephant in the room.
‘Someone let him out soon.
He takes up too much space
and is stinking out the place.’

‘Can’t let him out. The door is locked
and I can’t find the key.’
‘Don’t be daft,’ I mock,
impugning Someone’s ancestry.

‘It’s easy peasy lemon squeezy’
says I, sitting down to play.
Rippling notes come easily:
‘it’s in the key of A.’

‘Ah’ says Someone,
‘No,’ says I,
‘A not R.
Open up,’ I cry.

The elephant, it grumbled,
it didn’t want to go.
With crashing chords the funeral march
rang out as I threw a blow.

‘Oh, ’
he rumbled, ‘if you insist,
although
You’re most unjust.’

He ambled out,
left a heap of dung
as insult– what a lout,
and awfully highly strung.

‘I’m glad he’s gone
(Pooh, what a pong)
Now we can get some peace,
without that lumbering beast.’