American sentences

dVerse Poets Pub wants 17 syllable American sentences, (a type of haiku) with juxtaposition or contrasting thoughts. The space allowed seemed small
until I tried: I could have used fewer syllables to achieve the same effect!

Walking exercise, pick up litter – dual aim, healthy tidiness.

*

Sleeping mind works subconsciously, as body rests, reverse on waking.

*

Treetops sway before the wind as grasses whisper of secrets unseen.
See more interesting versions here

About https://vivinfrance.wordpress.com

All poetry, prose and pictures posted here, except where otherwise stated, is my own, and may only be used elsewhere with my expressed permission. Please don't be inhibited from correcting my bloopers and making suggestions: Most of what I post here is instant, ill-considered and off-the-cuff, in serious need of editing.
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16 Responses to American sentences

  1. Sherry Marr says:

    Lovely, Viv, especially the last one….sigh.

    Like

  2. Snakypoet (Rosemary Nissen-Wade) says:

    I too love the last in particular, but all are interesting. Amazing how much meaning can be packed into such a brief form.

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  3. hypercryptical says:

    Love the last especially. I am a litter picker-upper too.
    Anna :o]

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  4. shanyns says:

    That last one is just enchanting. A very nice set.

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  5. colonialist says:

    Very effectively done!
    I don’t suppose they would take kindly to:
    Danged varmint, this town ain’t big enough for both of us – I’m outta here!

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  6. each of these tells a story. Quite an accomplishment.

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  7. claudia says:

    nice…picking up litter on a walk you do something for your health and for the environment…and i love to listen to the grass whispering….nice

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  8. I love the first and third esp.,Viv

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  9. Misky says:

    The last one is brilliant. Love it.

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  10. Oh I really love the last one. Very nice!

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  11. They really aren’t that easy, are they? This challenge was a bit out of my comfort zone but I think you did remarkably well with it.

    I see you out picking up and enjoying a late autumn day speaking French, exchanging pleasantries; then the theme recurs in the last one finding secrets in the grass and in the trees – they are everywhere of course but so much more so in France (maybe because the secrets are French not English 🙂 ) And yes sleep sometimes feels so weird – when your mind wants to stay up doing and thinking, and your body says “I need to stop now!” – ha. Very clever sentences, Viv.

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  12. brian miller says:

    ha. the reverse on waking…sometimes i think i think more when i am sleeping than in the walking around day….smiles.

    Like

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