Agony shoots through my body
The world closes in,
focuses every nerve end,
every thought
on one thing.
Calm, stern figures inject God knows what
into my veins.
Spasms become all over aching,
movement unthinkable.
The madness begins.
I am lost in a black hole.
Deluded distress invades the inky space.
I doubt my surroundings –
everything is deformed.
Drifts of feathery black
fibres sway from every point of contact
menacing to enmesh me in their
web with sparks at every crossing.
Time crawls. I am awake
but can make no sense of anything.
A scarlet glow oils its way into my space,
widens, becomes golden
as daylight impinges
on my phantasmagoria.
A smiling white-clad figure approaches.
So does more torture.
Your medication. No, please.
I apologise that this is not my usual piece of frothy wordling. In case anyone is in any doubt, this is an accurate account of my nights in hospital ending a week ago. As I’ve already recounted, speech and language became absurd or absent; handwriting changed to that of a drunken insect, too small to read. I did make jottings for a poem during more lucid moments, and my son took photographs of the pages, which I will post when I am allowed more time on the computer. OPIATES do MUCH MORE THAN KILL PAIN: they DESTROY BRAINS. DON’T DO IT.
Posted for Brenda’s Sunday Whirl
Vivinfrance's Blog 
what a crazy painful – in so many ways – time this has been. Sending some healing energies your way and wishes for wellness to be yours again.
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So terrible…. but so vivid writing… I can understand pain to some extent… but that suffering of loosing capabilities through drugs is too much … hope to see you well soon.
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Even suffering, you managed an incredible poem. I hope you are feeling much better than you did a week ago. Take good care and dont overdo. That is our downfall. (I need to heed my own advice!)
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Viv– so very sorry – you write as vividly as ever – but so sorry for the subject. Take care, k.
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Gosh, I’m there with you – excellently realised and quite chilling… With Best Wishes Scott http://www.scotthastie.com
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It seems amazing that you can write at all, let alone something as lucid as this. Here’s to speedy recovery.
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Oh, wow, what a fantasy here!
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No fantasy – this is how it was.
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Viv, PJ and I send our love and best wishes to you, along with our hopes for your complete and rapid recovery. It was shocking to us to hear of your situation and it was all we could do to keep in mind our wonderful visit with you and not the image of you in pain and suffering.
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How many of us have experienced something like this…and hoped to forget it.
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yes, ‘like’ would indeed be inappropriate…it sounds like a very discomforting experience, glad you are past it and recovering.
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Ever so powerful with such vivid images. Please heal fast so that you aren’t again in the place you describe so vividly.
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I couldn’t hit like, either. This morning I saw a post about France and thought of you and told my Iself I needed to send you an e-mail…but, I forgot. Now I understand why. I’m so sorry, Viv. I pray things are on the mend. I can relate to what you write here.
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Wow! This is some powerful writing and it took me back to my own recent hospital experience at the beginning of the summer. I know the place from which you write and it still brings tears to my eyes when I go there in my memory. Wishing you a quick and easy recovery. Be kind to yourself.
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Wowza, Viv! This is strong dark writing. I’m sorry for the journey that brought it to the surface of your screen. The imagery is intense, and full of feeling. I love the write, and wish you nothing but needle-less days.
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Hope you are feeling better & don’t have to go through anything like that again. If there is an easier way of maintaining our frail, aging bodies, I sure hope they come up with it soon. Your poetic ability is still going strong, as you made your experience very real to your readers!
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Oh, Viv. This is raw to be certain. I am glad to see you back with us.
Good thoughts sent your way,
Pamela ox
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This is a hard read because it is so raw, yet well penned and put together. So sorry you had to experience that and glad to know you are home and recovering…Take care,
Elizabeth
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Your words paint the pain so vividly, my heart aches for you. I hope that each day brings some measure of reprieve from the pain. My thoughts are with you Viv
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Wow, Viv this is nightmarish and my heart reaches out to you…wish it never went this way for you. I hope you’ll be right as rain in no time.
I love this phrase,
“A scarlet glow oils its way into my space,
widens, becomes golden”
and I love the description in your notes,
“handwriting changed to that of a drunken insect, too small to read.”
Good to read you this morning. 🙂
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I hope you are recovering steadily. I’m sorry that you had to go through this.
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Oh, Viv, I ache just reading this horrific account. Sending you all my best wishes.
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A sombre story but I love how you managed to make it flow smoothly.
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Hospitals scare me to death… I hope you don’t have to return anytime soon…
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Viv, I am so glad you are obviously getting better – slowly but steadily. Hugs Carina:)
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I can’t hit like because this is too raw. My darling Viv, I hope you are feeling better now you’re at home.
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