Dear Elaine

self-portrait of Elaine de Koomey self-portrait by Elaine de Kooming

Your self-portrait aroused my sympathy.  The way you are perched on the edge of that most uncomfortable chair will do irreparable damage to your spine.    Do you want to end up in constant pain?  Your crossed legs are injurious to good circulation of the lower limbs, and why put your coffee cup on the floor? At best it will make a mess and at worst, trip you up.

Your clothes, like mine, are chosen for comfort rather than style, and that I applaud, although I could wish for a little more cheer in the way of colour.  I am curious to know if you are blind, as it seems that you are reading with your fingers rather than your eyes.  If so, you will be unable to read this, which makes it a complete waste of time.

My apologies for the crabby tone of this letter – my back is aching, my legs are throbbing and my eyes are heavy with sleep.
Your judgmental friend,

for Margo’s latest Tuesday Tryout at


All poetry, prose and pictures posted here, except where otherwise stated, is my own, and may only be used elsewhere with my expressed permission. Please don't be inhibited from correcting my bloopers and making suggestions: Most of what I post here is instant, ill-considered and off-the-cuff, in serious need of editing.
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7 Responses to Dear Elaine

  1. margo roby says:

    What a wonderful word “patraque” although I am sorry it is inhabiting you.
    I looked more closely at Elaine, after you chastised her for her bad habits and realised that, except for the coffee cup on the floor, okay, and reading with my fingers, I do all of them when at the computer.
    I am glad you are well enough to take the mickey out of the portrait.



  2. Elaine says:

    That was a bit of a surprise, to see a post addressed to me! 🙂
    It could be me, actually. I am perched on the edge of my chair as I lean on the table typing on my laptop (I know I shouldn’t and I even have one of those wedge shaped cushions which I should be sitting properly on so, duly told off, I am now sitting back properly). I am also dressed for comfort!
    It didn’t occur to me that she might be blind – I think she is keeping her place on the page while she looks up to admire herself in the mirror.


  3. earlybird says:

    I love ‘I am curious to know if you are blind…’

    Do I understand you really aren’t feeling good? Get better soon.


  4. Susannah says:

    I love it! 🙂


  5. Tilly Bud says:

    Don’t apologise! It’s good enough to go on your rant blog.

    Thanks for the tip about the sitting – that’s how I sit at the computer. Must stop doing that.

    Feel better soon, dear Viv. xx


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