Viv’s Penance

Rhapsody in Blue

A spurt of growth from rich brown earth,
as stately spire sways in the breeze.
Deep purple and sapphire draw my gaze
to triumphant botanic skyward burst.

From leafy background, soldier stems
in healthy vigour upward surge
to form, with sisters, graceful arch,
decorative, azure intense.

Tints of paler blue emerge
as flowers fade down from the tips –
their nectar luring insect lips
when evening bees converge.

Without a doubt, delphinium
the theme of this encomium.

 


for Margo’s Tuesday Tryout Part I – only this is my second poem.  The prompt asked us to choose 5 each of strong nouns, verbs and adjectives, before looking at the rest of the prompt. Like the good pupil that I am, I did as I was told – developing my group from the first word which came into my head:

5 nouns:  DELPHINIUM   SPIRE  STEM   GROWTH   EARTH
5 verbs;  SPURT   SPRINT   TOWER   SWAY   FADE
5 adjectives;  PURPLE,  BLUE  sapphire, cerulean, azure, cobalt  DEEP   PALE   LEAFY

This was a mistake. I should have been less specialised in my thinking, as the second part of the prompt asked us to look at one of our hands and use the chosen words in a poem.  You can see the problem I’d given myself.  So I did the second part first, ignoring the chosen words completely (see https://vivinfrance.wordpress.com/2011/08/24/my-left-hand/ poem ) leaving my list of words to stew into another poem. 

I tried to avoid cliché, which is difficult when writing about flowers, and to use half rhymes a,b,b,a.  The difficulties I gave myself in punishment for my error resulted in a sonnet.

About https://vivinfrance.wordpress.com

All poetry, prose and pictures posted here, except where otherwise stated, is my own, and may only be used elsewhere with my expressed permission. Please don't be inhibited from correcting my bloopers and making suggestions: Most of what I post here is instant, ill-considered and off-the-cuff, in serious need of editing.
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8 Responses to Viv’s Penance

  1. margo roby says:

    Love the third stanza and how lovely to get an unexpected poem. You have set me an unintentional challenge [unlike the other which I have not forgotten]. I am going to take your hands list and see what happens. I’ll let you know.

    margo

    Like

  2. Mike Patrick says:

    I made the mistake of making my word lists too restrictive also. There was no way I could use them in a poem about a specific object (hand). I deleted the whole mess. Now, seeing what you did with them, I wish I’d kept them; still, even with a broader poem base, they would have been tough.

    Like

  3. brenda w says:

    Viv, This is a delicious sonnet exposing one of my favorite garden flowers. It’s cold here in Montana, but delphiniums grow perennially. A truly beautiful poem.

    Like

  4. I love it! Love delphinium’s too but so do the damn earwigs! Don’t know if you have that problem in beautiful Normandie.

    Like

  5. Tilly Bud says:

    Viv, you are on fire at the moment: ‘insect lips’ – what a delicious image!

    Like

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