Dancing words
First dance in the offing,
my brittle mood unbearable,
I thought I would explode.
In a fever of excitement
I put on my first long dress -
the top a sheath of velvet,
the skirt a rustle of tulle.
later…
Against the walls we gathered,
teenage girls on one side,
spotty boys on the other,
the floor a no-man’s land,
uncrossable for fear of ridicule.
… even later
No longer a wallflower,
with pride piercing my fear,
the charming sixth-form heartthrob
led me onto the floor,
twirled me round till dizzy,
swept me out of the door.
Under umbrella of willows
in the gentle summer breeze,
he kissed me.
I used 10 of the 12 words, crust and mending seemed to spoil the atmosphere.
for the Sunday Whirl
This dance in my mind like a waltz!
Wonderful poem, Viv!
crossbow
Terrific capture!
I love your closing stanza.
I felt I was there watching…lovely!!
Mine is about a first dance to, but of a different kind (wink). The word “crust” was hard for me, too, but I figured out a way to get all twelve.
LOVE your description of her outfit, her state of mind, and I could almost hear the whoosh of her gown as she breezed out the door for that precious kiss. How utterly romantic, Viv. You captured young love beautifully. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/10/08/first-time-no-charm/
Those bloody cheeky 6th formers! Kissing girls! c
I loved your use of sheath and rustle together.
Oh I do love a romantic story!
Beautifully atmospheric, Viv. The words are hidden well. What is “spotty”? Just curious.
Pamela
I think in USA it’s called zits? Acne. We call them spots, and youths are frequently spotty.
An ending with a kiss…which, of course, presages a beginning!
Whirling with Wendell Berry
This is lovely! You took me right there.
wonderful – a perfect capture of the scene repeated at teenage dances through the ages.
Oh glorious romance! This is beautiful, Viv. I love that pride pierced your fear—great use of language.
thank you for the beautiful painting of words
Your memory, so well detailed, brought back all those sights and feelings Viv, thank you.
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2012/10/07/one-day-road-trip/
You were also caught in the “dance.” I liked it!
Ah, adolescence and love. You’ve captured this memory and the heart throbbing urgency of it all. Lovely, thank you.
Ahh… the first bloom of young love. I think we all remember our first grown up kiss, don’t we? This was one big smile of a read Viv.
Oh Viv – this poem – the movement of the words – dances across the page – to that kiss
Lovely memoir poem, Viv.