Silence would be balm to my ears.
My deepest wish – to achieve it.
Infernal internal noise appears,
blots out music, can’t receive it.
For ever more I long for quiet.
Will this buzzing never leave me?
The radio is on all night
to drown the howl, relieve it.
Suffering rubbish, I recite
“eternally I long for quiet.”
Do I not deserve reprieve?
Silence please – my need, my right,
noise politely asked to leave,
but no, the roaring just sits tight’
All day long I yearn for quiet.
Tinnitus, a dreadful disease
awful affliction, I indite
you for the murder of my life.
I would die for a bit of quiet,
at last encounter too much quiet.
linked at http://dversepoets.com/2012/07/31/open-link-night-week-55/
A wonderful interpretation of what must be an infuriating and at times distressing condition. Great job!
The form you chose is perfect for describing this affliction, I think, the rhyme and repetition make the longing for quiet more and more intense and real as the poem progresses. I feel for you in your painful distraction–and I’m glad your music helps. As we age we find out so many little weak points in our bodies, and the erosion of years makes them larger, but I know with my chronic but not too serious back problems, I am still always grateful to have this relatively minor thing go wrong with my body periodically than the devastating alternative possibilities so many have at my age. Hope things clear up a bit for you soon.
I so commiserate with you, Viv…I have Meniere’s and it’s not the buzz but my heart beat that constantly pounds…at least it reminds me I haven’t croaked yet!
I feel for you. This must be terrible. I really love silence.
PS
You sure it’s not a bee, flown into your ear on all those walks in the fresh air?
Poor Viv! It makes life miserable. The Hub suffers with it and I see him sticking his fingers in his ears and shaking his head in frustration. You have all my sympathy.
Is it a recent thing or have you had it before?
I’ve had it for years, but this weekend the normal crackly whistling has intensified into alternately roar and hum of a machine.
so tough…your writing gives a good impression how desperately people with tinnitus long for silence..a felt write..hope you’re soon better again viv
Agh! I get this sometimes. Terrible. Well conveyed. k.
I have a friend who suffers from tinnitus and vertigo, as part of a progressive illness. The way you have described what’s going on in your own ears and mind has given me a vivid idea of what this must be like.
Ugh! I have tinnitus sometimes. It can be awful, can’t it? Mine’s generally much better than it used to be.
i cannot imagine, but would guess it to be a horrific nuisance at best. thoughts of pleasant noises to you, or just quiet.
wow. i def do not want it…to yearn so bad for the silence that must be dreadful…and i would hope not to have to come to an end to find your silence…
I’ve always thought that tinnitus would be a nightmarish affliction. As a former musician, I’m lucky to have escaped it!
As a former musician myself, I can tell you that while I may not be able to play and sing as well as I used to, there is so much glorious music in my head if I make a deliberate choice to play it mentally to drown the wretched racket.
It has got suddenly exponentially worse in the last few days – hence my ballade – and the hearing in my right ear has suddenly dwindled to almost nothing.
Never heard of Tinnitus!! I’ll have to google it!!