The Animal in me
I’m just a pussycat, really,
so why did I explode today -
use words I never use
to a poor defenceless call centre girl?
If I tell all, my blood pressure
will go through the roof again
so I won’t.
Suffice it to say that my bank
gave me the runaround,
passed me from pillar to post
and back again. It took an hour
to make a transfer no different
from any of hundreds
that I’ve made in twenty years.
This is no poem, it’s a rant.
I did apologise for the language
if not for the rage that caused it.
Sequel
I’ve told you about how mad I get
at call centres,
how I can’t control my rage.
But it isn’t always like that,
so I’m setting the record straight.
You know how aggranoying
it can be when techy stuff goes wrong?
well, that happened to me last week
and, suffice it to say,
I ended up ‘phoning Microsoft
and the call was very long.
Imran here, he said,
I’m in Bangalore, where are you?
And for an hour I was enchanted
by the nicest silky-voiced Indian
I’ve ever met – well, sort-of met
if you know what I mean.
His expertise was welcome,
his patience with my technincompoopery even more.
The talk-through was long
and complex, but with him
it was not a chore.
While we waited for a download,
we talked about poetry -
he recited his favourite,
I read him one of mine.
We talked about India
and France
and cabbages and kings.
I was sad when all was done,
access to Word restored,
to say goodbye to this charming man
- I felt I’d made a friend -
so I wrote my fulsome praise
in purple prose
on an email to Microsoft.
I hope they give him a raise.
The first half of this saga was posted ages ago on my ranting blog, http://vivnada.wordpress.com but I couldn’t resist updating the story in response to a prompt to write a monologue-type poem in the vernacular, at http://dversepoets.com/2012/03/01/translucent-poetics-writing-spoken-word/#comment-10278
Catching up very late. I really enjoyed reading both, and I think this is exactly the sort of topic that goes down well in a live reading, instantly engaging the audience.
Imran sounds delightful.
Viv, I felt all the frustration of the first, and delighted in your experience with the second. Lovely, funny, and still the rant is so real! Amy
Lovely to see both sides of the coin; and I could hear your voice clearly in both. It’s too easy sometimes to be angry with all the overseas call-centre employees (although heavens knows there are more than enough to be furious at …) but then, you hit one like your dream from India or the whole of the Lynx bunch (at least all that I’ve had contact with – and it’s been at least a half dozen) in the Philippines and they’re so helpful and nice … I wish they could handle all my tech problems … good example of spoken word poetry, I believe Viv …
http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.com/2012/03/vignettes-from-bin.html
I love it when people not only recognize their limitations but when they then tell you how they overcame them. Your honest confession – nothing wrong with that in poetry for sure – was only made more remarkable by the follow-up story. And your telling of the story has such a feel of you in it. Your voice came thru very strongly, full of personality and authenticity.
I relate to both of these, Viv. Call center contacts can be one of the most frustrating experiences in the world, and then you meet someone like the chap in India. I think those employees are either saints or certifiable. I could never do that work.
haha…loved both parts…think we all can relate to part 1…hotlines…ugh…maybe they are called hotlines because your blood starts boiling while talking to them..and part two is just lovely…i think i should call the microsoft hotline immediately..nice..
I, too, like ‘aggranoying’. One worth bringing into the lexicon.
I enjoyed the completely different tones of the speaker’s voice and the easy familiarity of the second poem. I felt quite lulled. I almost wanted a tech problem requiring a call. Almost.
What a lovely experience!
I like’aggrannoying’
ugh one i can relate to…Verizon has the absolute worse call center…they are no help…see i am about to rant after reading…ha you you stirred the emtion well in this…customer service is a joke on the phone…
ok everyonce in a while i get a good one, but….
I know exactly what you mean… I wish we didn’t have to go through so many channels these days. I like the second one, though… ‘technincompoopery’ cracks me up, as does ‘I’m just a pussycat, really.’
I can understand the madness and how wonderful that you had a lovely man for the second half of your story.. c
I remember having read your earlier ‘rant,’ and it is so nice to see that you have experienced the other side of the coin. I have had some very helpful tech calls with people from India or the Philippines. I think it is really amazing how they can help as they do from a distance, especially with many computer users not being the most tech knowledgeable. They must have the ‘patience of Job’ to do that job!
Well this is the second rant I’ve read this morning. Both excellent, which worries me that I’ve become a secret rant lover!