I am
poised,
outward-looking,
solitary yet gregarious
serially monogamous, I can
take her or leave her alone to mind
this year’s young in the nest I made earlier
There’s a shoal of fish in that riffle of sparkle.
The sea is inviting. Hungry, I’d better get moving .
Posted to dVerse Poets. Photo credit: Reena Walkling
I especially like how the poem seems to mirror the shape of the image.
Nice use of form and would fill that belly fast so could get back to visiting.
Wonderful in words and in shape.
This is lovely!
you sure got in his head
private dreamliner
Wonderful! I love the shape, the words, everything. One of your best. I love this: that riffle of sparkle.
One suggestion – the rep of ‘that’ detracts slightly, coming so close together. Can you change one?
You’re right as usual – corrected. I wish everyone was as punctilious in making suggestions.
Vx
I can understand why people don’t – it can seem rude if you don’t know the other person that well. But you and I have been fixing each other’s poetry for years, so we don’t worry about good manners
Love this one, Viv, such a bird-lover am I. Love the shaped look of the poem on the page as well.
Nice dive into pelican fancies–I think you got him pegged rather well–like the shape aspect as well.
What a way to honor this stately bird. The form of the poem mimicking its outline in the photo! I loved the following lines, put me right there with this hunter:
There’s a shoal of fish in that riffle of sparkle.
Yes… the sea is inviting. I enjoyed this, Viv, and the presentation is lovely.
oo and I love the set up of this one.. visually exciting too.. c
smiles…cool bit of concrete poetry…i would not mind visiting her hungry or not…and yep you dont want to go hungry so fly on now…smiles…..
smiles…yes…better get moving…the sea’s inviting for sure and i’m hungry for her beauty…already spreading my wings, ready to take off after reading your lovely verse..
I really like the part about being “serially monogamous” and deciding whether to take her or leave her alone with the babies. This is a powerful metaphor for men who hop from one woman to another, intensely faithful for a time before the wanderlust creeps in. “This year’s young” says it all. Whatever he’s hungry for always overcomes his desire to stay close to his family (women, drugs, other allures and distractions). He’s not after that fish for his babies; he’s chasing his own enticements.
Cute and lovely, I really like it.